Thursday, February 2, 2012

50 Things For The 50th!

Well, it is a looong time 'til Series 7 starts, so here is Blogtor's countdown of things he'd like to see during the 50th Anniversary celebrations for Doctor Who during 2013. PLEASE NOTE: They're not all entirely serious...

50. Ban the term "Whovian"
I bloody loathe that word. I really do. What's wrong with saying, "I'm a Doctor Who fan"? It's good enough for Star Wars fans so it's good enough for us! Or how about Who~Head?

49. A decent video game
I mean seriously, come on! Dalek Attack still remains the best despite "attempts" from Nintendo and the BBC website. The latest editions to the doomed medium, Worlds in Time and The Eternity Clock, are not inspiring confidence. Having said that, I don't play games so I don't particularly care.

48. Rose & Ten.5 sitcom
Just imagine Bill Pippette and Davey T stuck in a parallel Norway - with high~larious consequences! Each week, The Doctor tries to grow a TARDIS from a bit of coral only to find the missus has bought the wrong soil. Series finale includes a guest appearance from Adam who turns into Davros - with high~larious consequences!

47. A Brilliant Book for every year
Actually, this is a serious one (not that the others aren't *coughs*). The last two years have seen the amazing Brilliant Book of Doctor Who released (watch the Blogtor review of the latest one HERE) and one cannot help but imagine what it would be like to have one for every year of Doctor Who's existence. Helpfully, some talented people have put together The Wonderful Book of Doctor Who 1965 - check it HERE.

46. The TARDIS to change its appearance
I mean, a Police Box still? Jeez.

45. Whatever Happened To Stephen Fry?
A one hour documentary, narrated by Stephen Fry, looking at why writer, Stephen Fry, was unable to complete his Doctor Who story for Series Two in 2006. It stars Stephen Fry and finds him interviewing various cast and crew to discover the reason behind Stephen Fry ditching Doctor Who in favour of bloody Kingdom (currently residing in the "what the hell was that?" televisual archive). Also features Stephen Fry. #stephenfry

44. Official Doctor Who Convention hosted by Blogtor
Well, one can dream...

43. Doctor Who Meets Scratchman
If you read the excellent article in Doctor Who Magazine 379, then you'll know all about the proposed movie from Tom Baker and actor Ian Marter (Harry Sullivan). If not, then let's just say it's a suitably nuts idea from the former Time Lord, who hatched the idea with Marter during their time together on the show. The final moments of the film would have involved Harry, Sarah and the Doctor being buffeted about in a giant pinball machine. Nice! Anyway, let's get this baby made. What's David Yates up to? Oh, and the title brings me to my next wish...

42. Can't We Just Call Him "Doctor Who" now?
"The Doctor" is just so..., meh!

41. University Challenge
Would it be too much to see Gallifrey's finest knowledge~off against one another on BBC Two's quiz show for "brainies"? On top there's "classic" boys Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy whilst they contest "newbies" Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith on the bottom. #wow Ideally it would end in huge punch up, after Eccleston walks off 'cos Paxman was bullying two of them for being sh*t. (I'll let you guess which two).

40. David Yates directs an episode
Rather than letting the biggest gob on the planet loose with a big screen version of Doctor Who, why not employ the services of the Harry Potter director for a small screen story first? Urgh, I feel durty just typing those words... #hairypooter

39.
Young Doctor Who
I smell a spin~off! Incredibly, the BBC did actually want to do a series of adventures featuring a young version of The Time Lord (presumably he went about calling himself "Student Doctor") tooling about on Gallifrey. One can imagine Smallville hi~jinx as The Doc faces~off each week against The 'Ster (that's how the young Master referred to himself) as they both try to gain the affections of The Rani (she was too much of a bitch to have her name shortened). Series ends when the grumpy Time Lord stumbles across a rather slutty Type 40...

38. The Return of Jenny
Now Georgey M has found the man of her dreams and settled down with a family, it's time for her to get back out there. Petey D's daughter has just finished filming on the excellent second series of White Van Man (airing later this month) so she must be looking for some extra income to support her current hubby (whatever happened to him?). Ideally she would come back in a story called The Doctor's Granddaughter, where it's revealed she is..., Amy's mother! Dun~dun~duuunnnn!

37. Doctor Who Vs. Inspector Spacetime
Surely this has to happen at some point???

36. Cinema Adverts
Back in the old days, and by old I mean a couple of years ago, the BBC placed trailers for Doctor Who in cinemas. It really enhanced the film~going experience no end and made turning up early for a movie essential. On most occasions the excitement of seeing a preview of Series 4 or 5 bettered the main feature it accompanied. May I humbly suggest a series of ads, each featuring a former Doctor Who saying, "Something, something, Doctor Who. Something, something, BBC. Something, something, 50th Anniversary." Writes itself, really.

35. Doctor Who's Next Top Companion
To my great shame, I've never seen America's Next Top Model, despite being a lover of beautiful women (especially damaged ones), but how about a weekly show where emotionally fragile, but aspiring, creatures (male, female and robot) fight it out to be the new TARDIS traveler. Judging panel consists of model Karen Gillan, writer/actor Mark Gatiss (as he lurves ANTM) and K~9.

34. Star Wars crossover
Yeah, I know, not gonna happen.

33. Who invades Graham Norton
Just as revenge, every radio and television show that The Nortors presents HAS to have some Doctor Who related element. Preferably someone from the series but I would be equally happy to have cartoon versions of characters popping up when he's doing one of his "hilarious" monologues. Or a disembodied voice~over from The Doctor drowning out the would~be Moriarty's comedy stylings. Either's good.

32. Doctor Who Magazine (Nov 1963)
Like my suggestion for an edition of the Brilliant Book of Doctor Who for every year at No. 47 in this list, I can't imagine anything better than to have an issue of Doctor Who Magazine from November 1963. Featuring interviews with Billy H & Co., a preview of the upcoming series and a completely empty reviews section. Production Notes promises no Bug~Eyed Monsters and lots educative material in the next few months whilst the letter page includes a letter bemoaning the cringe factor and another complaining about the loud music (blame Susan).

31. All The Doctors on Twitter
Come on guys, get a grip! Colin Baker is already there (he was The Sixth Doctor, in case you don't know), isn't it about time Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith* all got into the Twittersphere and started to tell us how much they hate the guy that replaced them? Even better would be the Tweet Wars that would exist as each tries to get the most followers. Hashtag, please make this happen.

30. Merlin crossover
I don't watch the show, personally, but I believe it's very popular with other "humans". And the thought of Matt "Mazza" Smith and Colin "Mozza" Morgan together inhabiting the same screen would undoubtedly cause the internet to melt down with all sorts of fan made pictures and videos... Or, if that's no good, Being Human instead.

29. Overseas filming
We've had some great overseas filming over the past few years (from 2008's Fires of Pompeii to last year's series opener) and one can't help but suggest that the Fiftieth is a time for spending a little bit more on exploring our "wonderful" planet. Sure, some more filming in North America would be nice, but what about some filming down under - in Australia? Or why not ask Peter Jackson for some time on his Hobbit set in New Zealand and shoot there? Mind you, I hear Tunisia is nice this time of year...


28. Amy & Rory: The Ponds
I think the video above says it all.

27. Resurrection of the Stage Show
But which one I hear you ask? What better way to frighten the kiddies than to remount touring productions of either The Ultimate Adventure, with various past Doctors in the role (and possibly one~night only for David Banks), or Doctor Who and the Daleks in the Seven Keys to Doomsday. Hhmm, what a dilemma! Or we could just plump for The Curse of the Daleks (though it doesn't actually feature The Doctor). In theatre, no one can hear you scream... (Or snore.)

26. Inter~Doctor DVD Audio Commentaries
As a fan of audio commentaries - and as someone who likes to partake in the odd one from time to time - I would absolutely lurve to hear, for example, Peter Davison doing a commentary on, say, a Sylvester McCoy story. Or David Tennant performing similar duties on on a Christopher Eccleston episode. Ideally, I want to listen to Tom Baker pontificate on The Five Doctors...

25. River Song Saved from The Library
Slightly contentious this one, perhaps. I mean I lurve River Song (as many do), so is it beyond belief that The Doctor figures out a way to go back to The Library and "save" River Song from the horror that was an eternity with a bunch of idiot workmates in, what looked like, a Spandau Ballet video? Perhaps, it's a flashback with the Tenth Doctor going back to save her. Just to make things even more timey of the wimey...

24. "Redo" Missing Stories

As you may be aware, there are plenty of "missing" Doctor Who adventures out there (thanks Tony Blair!) and, to celebrate the Fiftieth, why not bring breathe life into these lost children? (For starters, it saves money and time on commissioning new writers.) Seeing as Matt Smith seems to have such a boy~crush on Troughton, let him loose on The Power of the Daleks. Or, if the thought of a "classic" story being pilfered in such a way distresses you, just CG the whole thing up.

23. Doctor Who Reference Clip Shows
This is perfect fodder for BBC Three (or indeed BBC America, to be honest, judging by their own related output). I envisage two specials: the first concentrating on references to Doctor Who on other television shows from 1963 up until the phrase "Nu Who" was born; whilst the second takes in all the nods since the 2005 restart (including numerous US offerings like Futurama, Community and The Big Bang Theory). Narrated by Robert "I pretty much just narrate BBC Three shows now" Webb.

22. Every Phone Box Turned Into A TARDIS
Surely this cannot be too much to ask? Let's get every, and I mean EVERY phone box turned into a TARDIS for the year. And I ain't just talking about the Greatness of Britain (as the picture above might suggest), I'm referring to the ENTIRE EFFIN' PLANET! C'mon United Nations, do something useful! Which brings me to number twenty~one...

21. International Doctor Who Day
Dear The World, November 23, 2013 please.

20. Whatever Happened To...?
Ever wondered what became of Ian Chesterton? Have you taken time to think on Tegan? Pondered on Peri? Well, this documentary (fake, obviously - these people aren't real) looks at all the Doctor's companions and what they've been up to since they've departed the TARDIS. It's a sad old affair; none sadder than Grace Holloway, who got back with Brian...
19. Jeremy Paxman interviews Christopher Eccleston
Although Series One ended up being perfectly brill~skills, its production was blighted by some on~set issues (allegedly). Christopher Eccleston, who older readers may remember played Doctor Who back in 2005, revealed last year that he wasn't too happy with the behind~the~scenes goings~on, even telling Graham "The Guv'or" Norton that he wouldn't be coming back. So how better to get the truth of the matter than having Paxo grill Ecclso on the 411.

18. Captain Jack's Missing Two Years Explained
That. Please.

17. RTD Episode
By the time the show's 50th B'Day arrives in 2013, it'll be almost four years since we last watched a new Doctor Who story from the man who brought it back, Russell T Davies. I'm sure over the years he's had a couple of ideas that are just dying to get out of his head and into the TARDIS. A better treat for the Fiftieth, I cannot imagine. Well, actually, I can. *Checks list* About 16 more - but you get the idea...

16. Doctor Who Meets Big Brother
OK, technically this has kind of already happened but I'm thinking two options:
1) "In~character" Big Brother where various versions of The Doctor live with numerous companions (steady).
2) The actual actors and actress from the show over the years share the house as themselves (with half of them bitching about the new series and how in their day it was much better). Failing that, a Doctor Who version of The Apprentice...

15. BBC Idents
Christmas 2009 was a fun time wasn't it? Well, on BBC One it was. Seeing the TARDIS with a reindeer or Davey T every half hour or so certainly made the television worth switching on from time to time. But how about EVERY ident for the whole year, featuring EVERY person available from Who's past (and present). In fact, let's just get ALL the continuity announcers removed and replaced with Who actors and actresses. THEN the news! etc...

14. The Doctor Pops Up In Old Stories
Now, I've never seen Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (having missed the first eight) or indeed its episode, Trials and Tribble-ations, but I'm sure you may be aware of it and what I'm driving at. In that story (broadcast in 1996), the crew of "DS9" (I feel durty just typing those letters/digits) traveled back to visit the cast of the original Star Trek; utilising footage from The Trouble With Tribbles (1967) and crossing the generations with high~larious results! (I imagine, as I say, I ain't seen it.) Maybe we could have Matt popping up to help Billy H with some of his lines. Or appear in Trial of a Time Lord for an alternative cliffhanger close up. Or make an appearance in one of his own stories! Uh, hold on, he's done that already...

13. Live Episode
Back in 2005 (ah, memories), BBC Four screened a live version of The Quatermass Experiment (starring, fact fans, David Tennant and Mark Gatiss) and damn good it was too. UK soaps Easties and Corrie have pulled off similar tricks (if slightly more, what's the word, sh*tter) boosting their audiences in the process. But what about a live version of Doctor Who, broadcast live across the globe to a, erm, live audience. #live Am I saying "live" too much?

12. The Genesis of Dr. Who
Sticking with BBC Four... Those guys and gals have pumped out some excellent "real life" drama specials based on real life people such as The Road to Coronation Street and Lennon Naked (starring Christopher Grumperston, I mean Eccleston), for example. So, may I humbly suggest, that BBC Four tackle the genesis of Doctor Who, looking at the diverse people involved and the car~azy way those car~azy people got such a car~azy show on the road. I should say that, rumour has it, the Beeb are, in fact, already working on a Doctor Who related drama...

11. Return of The Master
I don't think this needs much explaining. 50th Anniversary needs someone like The Master as an enemy (not the bleedin' Daleks pur~lease) for the various incarnations of The Doctor to fight (oops, spoilers for the Top 10!). Check out Blogtor's list of possible candidates for the role when John Simm leaves HERE.

10. New title sequence/theme tune arrangement
We'll all be bored by the current one by 2013, won't we?? Maybe the production team could see fit to bastardise past title sequences and plop Matt's big shiny face in there replacing the old guys (without that horrific McCoy wink of course). Or, why not, have Mazza dress up as them? No, sorry. That was silly. Similarly, the theme tune could be reconstructed to fit elements of the various arrangements from over the years (which was kind of done in The Five Doctors end titles). Though, I'm happy enough for a completely new version. Maybe with someone singing the words, "Doc~tor Whoooooo" over the music?

9. Sherlock Crossover for Children In Need

Scene One (Interior 221b Baker Street)
The Doctor
Hello, Sherlock!

Sherlock
Did you bring The Teselecta?

The Doctor
Yes..... [Insert Matt Smith hand clasp™] Why?

Sherlock
Laterz!

END
Writes itself, really.

8. Appearances From Past Companions
You can't have a party without participants! And you can can't spell participants without party! (Almost *coughs*). Looking forward to the picnic on Adric's grave and the return of Adam...

7. Davros Origin Story
Or Young Dave Ross as the BBC are hoping to market it. RTD commented in his book, The Writer's Tale, that he did consider examining the back story for Dave in The Stolen Earth/Journey's End - a pity he didn't. But it does mean that it's still up for grabs (if you don't pay attention to Big Finish audios, that is). Potentially, it's a fascinating story with some equally fascinating debates to be had about science and morals to be had. Oh dear, I went all serious there. I do apologise.

6. Doctor Who Confidential
Without wanting to get into the whole "Dear BBC Three, what the 'eff were you thinking?" debate when Confidential got the boot (but seriously, what were they thinking??), surely for the 50th Anniversary someone should be there to capture the momentous events? I would sincerely hope that DWC gang were on call for all the behind~the~scenes actions on that year's filming. And, of course, a series of documentaries on the 50 years of Who~action - perhaps utilising some of the great talents that work on the "classic" DVD range.

5. Musical Episode
If RTD were to come back to write a Doctor Who story (see No. 17), then it should be this one - a musical! Nobody does big and brassy like Rusty D. Along with the veritable talents of composer Murray "Muzza" Gold, who recently won an award for his own work Kafka: The Musical, the pair of them sure could whip a tune and a tale. Springtime For Davros maybe? I Could Have Sonic'd All Night possibly?? Somewhere Over The Medus Cascade perhaps??? Singin' in the Destroyed Remnants Of A Spaceship That Blew Up Above The Planet???? (That's quite enough of that - Ed.)

4. BBC Screens "Classic" Who
6pm. Every night. All year. Simple.

3. The Time War starring Paul McGann
I've always thought it was a missed opportunity that one of the "Doctor~lite" episodes (such as Blink or Love & Monsters) wasn't used to have a flashback containing the antics of The Eighth Doctor, played (for one night only!) by Paul McGann. Specifically the antics which, presumably, led his regenerating into Christopher Eccleston (I'm sure he could be CG'd in as he doesn't want to bathe in the Time Lord river anymore). Fighting off Daleks and burning up Gallifrey, killing all his family and friends - the feel~good hit of the summer!

2. The Return of "Old" Doctors
Predictable as ever, Blogtor. Still, it should happen.

1. New Doctor
What Matt Smith leave?? What are you talking about Blogtor? A great end (or start, depending on how you view it) to the 50th Anniversary would be a rousing finale for The Eleventh Doctor, in a special filled with his past incarnations and probably with the help of Field Marshall Trenzalore (almost an anagram of "The Master"). A better way to end his tenure in the TARDIS I cannot image, setting up the appearance of The Twelfth Doctor with trouser~tightening anticipation. And if they could keep the regeneration a secret? Well, that would be just be wizard! #smileyemoticon




12 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Dalek hate and now this...

Chi said...

The Dalek hate I can deal with. But the McCoy hate? Blasphemy.

Marie Parsons said...

I had to put the cuppa down, laughing over some of these. Brilliant. Bristling with clever ;) Ok...they are just plain fun. Thanks!

Cameron McEwan said...

Thanks Marie!

ripleyaeryn said...

I want River back and saved from the library too. I want Jenny, Master (John Simm please!), Captain Jack, former Doctors back, and about international Doctor Who Day, I completely agree.

I don't want Matt Smith to leave.

exiledingeeksville.com said...

Peter Davison is on Twitter -@PeterDavison5

Expect a new opening sequence and theme arrangement this christmas

Luke Hughes said...

I agree with most of this, especially the Whovian part. But change the TARDIS? BLASTPHEMY.

And I've had it up to here with River, I hope the Doctor can't cross her timeline any more or something so she stays in the library.

dumbsainthood said...

Nah, Whovian needs to stay.Each fan base has their name. Star Trek fans are called Trekkies and most will use that term themselves :-)

Return of Jenny? No. She needs her own spinoff show.

Anonymous said...

My prediction is that several of these will happen and some like the proposed "The Next Companion" reality show should never have been mentioned because it is now almost a horrifying certainty!

Andrew Dalpini said...

A lot of these did end up happening in a way

Mark Vanderlinde-Abernathy said...

Peter Davidson and Paul McGann both have twitter.

McGann: @pauljmcgann and @RealPaulMcGann

Davidson: @PeterDavison5

Hurt: @WithJohnHurt

Cameron McEwan said...

Yes, thanks Mark - I am aware they have Twitter now.

When this post was first published, back in Feb 2012, they didn't.